Dreaming the Impossible Into Reality

I always felt I was different, unlovable. Even at a young age I imagined I would be alone forever. It wasn’t until I was in my 30’s and went to therapy that I understood I was suffering the effects of having been hurt as a child, and that I protected myself by living behiand a wall and not expecting anything good to happen, when all I really wanted was to be seen, included and loved. I was at war with myself– trying desperately to be “normal” while battling the terrible unease I felt inside.

This was how I lived until I went to therapy had the opportunity to dive down into all that had happened to me. I slowly recovered the Phyllis hidden beneath the rubble of negative beliefs and dysfunctional behaviors I had developed.

Going to therapy was not easy; a lot of pain needed to be released, and I had to face very uncomfortable truths about my family and myself, but in the process I understood my dysfunctional coping mechanisms and gradually developed more compassion for myself and the ability to choose differently. I know now that the truth sets us free; all the truths. As I began to heal, I gradually became a better parent and friend, and I learned how to leave relationships that were unhealthy.

Those deep dives of reclamation into my personal darkness are what made it possible for me to finally break the trance of my alone-ness; I began to imagine I could have the love I dreamed of after all. Two steps forward, one step back, for sure, but today I have more love than I ever thought possible and a life that is richer and more fulfilling than I could have imagined.

I say this not to wave my own flag or pretend I have it all figured out, but to share with you that I know for a fact that we can heal, and that makes it possible to imagine and create what once seemed impossible.

This is my hope for America and people everywhere, that we dream of healing. That we make it safe to look fearlessly at our past and what conditioned us to become so divisive, angry, and violent. My hope is that we choose to make a healing journey together, en masse, so that we can throw the old Win/Lose script away and write a brand new chapter in human history.

– We can be released from the negative conditioning of our collective past by

facing it– both what we have suffered and the pain we have caused

– We don’t have to accept hatred, violence and war any longer

– We can break through the trance of our separateness and give to each other

the safety, peace and love we all want for ourselves

– We can dare to dream now of a caring, connected, fulfilling life together here in

America and around the world

— Healing is possible

This is not “pie in the sky” thinking. We are an amazing species! We have dreamed so many things into existence that were once inconceivable– organ transplants, space exploration, symphonies, computer technology and the Cloud, robots, cell phones, and self-driving vehicles. History shows us that when we want something badly enough and we allow ourselves to dream big enough, we will do anything and everything to make our dreams a reality.

Let’s not dream of bigger weapons any longer. We can have a healed human family living in peace if we want it. War is not inevitable. War is man-made. We can have a world invested in love, cooperation and connection if we want it badly enough, if we dream big enough, and we start now.

I would start by having America in Therapy. Where would you begin?