We Are One World

Technology and science have shown us that we are One World in many obvious ways.

Worldwide information is one click of a computer keyboard away. We can see real-time images of a hurricane tearing its deadly path across a foreign shore, children sobbing in the face of yet another bombing, or documentaries on humanitarian efforts to feed the starving and stem the tide of deadly diseases. The list of course is endless.

We know now from science that polluting our air, water and soil cannot be contained– what we each do to our own patch of dirt, we do to the whole earth. And we know now that our beautiful blue planet, home to us all no matter who we are, depends for its very existence on the universe behaving as it has for millions of years, or we would all be gone in a flash.

We are all affected by this global onslaught of information–do we feel distraught and powerless, numb, distracted, angry, or do we feel inspired, hopeful, caring about our neighbors and a path to meaningful contribution on a personal level?

Maybe like me you feel it all– some days beside myself with disbelief and overwhelm, other days hopeful and inspired to do whatever is mine to do.

One of the big reasons I wrote America in Therapy is that the world of Psychology not only shows us our profound dependence on people everywhere for our wellbeing, but it also shows us that our collective mental health is critical to our very survival. We know that if the people we depend on are hateful, they are sowing the seeds of oppression, divisiveness, discrimination, exploitation, and war. And we know that when the people we depend on are loving, caring, non-violent, willing to listen, and generous, there is a ripple effect that warms hearts, enlightens minds, fosters cooperation and grows connection.

In today’s world, the people we depend on are everyone

We know these things but we do not always want to know.

How can we make this critical evolutionary leap to the understanding that what we do to each other and the earth we do to all of us? The idea that we can save ourselves at the expense of immigrants, black people, women, marginalized religious and economic groups, and at the expense of other life forms– that idea is an illusion. It is obsolete, and it is a sign of severe mental unwellness. 

Psychology has shown us that we are in desperate need of loving, safe human relations above all else if we want to have any hope of surviving as a species. Abuse, neglect, hate and alienation destroy individuals and families. And nations are nothing more than groupings of individuals and families. So what do we imagine will happen to us if we allow hatred and violence to be role-modeled and legislated?

I am most likely preaching to the choir. Of course there is no easy answer. The difficulty is that in this culture, admitting our need for each other and embracing the fact that coming ALL together to save ourselves is actually the only viable move– to say nothing of it being the next great evolutionary challenge that will, in fact, bring us great happiness– the difficulty is that admitting our need for each other still feels like an intolerable assault on our fragile sense of self and the misguided belief that strength is measured by independence (a total Illusion) and the right to overpower others to ensure our own survival. As a result, we hold onto coping mechanisms that have no psychological basis in promoting our emotional health, wellbeing and safety. 

Feeling Our Vulnerability

In the world of psychology, we know that in order to put an end to the wars we wage on ourselves and others in our own lives, we must feel our vulnerability. We are not all powerful. We are not wired to go it alone, and in our hearts we don’t want to. We crave love and safe belonging. We crave being seen and valued, provided for and respected for our differences, and our fellow human beings crave that from us. We all suffer when we don’t give and receive this kind of care.

We are now faced with the need to feel our vulnerability collectively. There is no shame in admitting we literally need each other to survive. Humanity is literally holding onto life on this planet by a thread. Imagining we can go it alone as gender, racial, economic, religious and political groups and nations is not courage or strength; it is foolishness, and it flies in the face of everything we know helps us become our best selves and fulfill our greatest potentials.

I’m actually surprised that this fact is not headline news, not part of an explosive new party platform, not the theme of all our next great books and movies, and that young people everywhere are not marching in the streets to proclaim us One World and reach for each other across oceans. And of course I’m also not surprised, because this recognition is ego-shattering. It upends all partisan politics, all illusions of superiority, all exclusionism, greed, and all the justifications for aggression and war. 

Psychology Offers What Other Approaches Do Not

This is where the field of psychology offers what other approaches do not. In our personal relationships, some of this same ego shattering is exactly what is needed and most healing. True healing helps us cross that threshold where we understand, finally– and often with great resistance– that nothing is all about “me.” It is about “us.” True healing helps me understand that I am more likely to have the life I want when I can safely depend on you and you can safely depend on me.

I know you are the neighbor who is friendly and happy to help. But maybe we can be the founding members of a One World initiative, because we are all neighbors to everyone in this world, and I pray we can see that sooner than later.