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Walking On Coals

by Phyllis Leavitt | Feb 18, 2025 | #Psyche&Soul, Blogs

Walking On Coals

I was never interested in learning to walk on coals though I know many people have done it without getting burned. Whatever the mind-over-matter technique is, I never wanted to find out. Life itself seems challenging enough without adding hot coals to the mix. The fires of personal disappointment and societal abuse and injustice are hot enough for me.

 

As a psychotherapist and author of America in Therapy, I have maintained that restoring ourselves to safety, peace and love is a non-partisan issue and that the answer is not to fight fire with fire. But that does not mean we don’t call out abuse, neglect and threat – peacefully. In fact we have to.

 

Breaking the cycle of violence and restoring ourselves to safe relating is not a Red or Blue issue; it is a human issue, and today I believe it is a survival issue, not just for Americans but for humanity. 

 

I’d actually rather not be talking about this. I’d much rather tell you about the lovely hike my husband and I recently took through a stand of old ponderosas, how we lay holding hands beneath a gigantic canopy of lush green boughs.

 

I wish with all my heart it were that simple. But my soul calls to me from beyond the trees to be an actor in this very human, very frightening Play that is being enacted worldwide. I wonder if you feel a call to find a new part in this Play, too, something beyond your old identity or comfort zone.

 

I’ll tell you this– it’s not without its risks. It has certainly shaken up my life to leave the safety of one-on-one psychotherapy. As much as it feels like walking on coals to speak publicly about institutional abuse, the threats to our continued existence, and the urgent need for love and non-violence, the Fires inside me are also hot – what can I really do, and who do I think I am anyway?

 

And yet, it has been one of the best things I have ever done! 

 

I believe I am far from alone in saying Yes to the burning that comes when you lay your small self down on the pyre of your own anonymity and have your voice anyway, when you speak even without guarantee of being heard but simply because you have to, because not fighting for the survival of our shared humanity is not an option… and because somehow you know this is what you came here to do.

 

I wouldn’t change a thing!

 

It’s taking that first step into the fire that turns conviction and even prayer into reality and gives me the courage to keep going. Every time I speak out about the abuses of power– always with the goal of bringing healing through love, deep listening, and peaceful conflict resolution – I have to walk over those same coals, but it’s getting easier and easier.

 

I have had a lifetime of facing fire in my personal life – and I’m sure you have too –… from confronting a loved one’s addiction to saying No to a bad marriage and braving my way into the minefield of single parenting.

 

I could fill pages and you most likely can too. And if you’re anything like me, I hope you have found both relief and exhilaration in taking the first step beyond fear. Not as kudos or a pat on your own back, but as the incredible sense of rightness you feel standing on the bedrock of your own integrity and authenticity.

 

And you know what? The commitment so many of us have to peace and a thriving future for all people may or may not come to pass. That profound uncertainty is part of the burning we learn to walk through.

 

Love asks us to walk on coals for its own sake, and it is our greatest blessing to answer that call.

 

*****

“On the path to peace, we will close the gap between Love and Politics”

 

*****

 

You can find me at www.phyllisleavitt.com 

phyllis@phyllisleavitt.com

 

*****

 

Click here for my free PDF The 6 Secrets for Repairing Relationship After Conflict https://phyllisleavitt.com/wp-content/uploads/The-6-Secrets-To-Repairing-Relationships_-How-to-Reconnect-After-Conflict.pdf

 

Take the Free Conflict Type Quiz on my homepage at www.phyllisleavitt.com and find out your Conflict Type

 

*****

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