I have always had a sense of hope associated with the New Year – a chance to start over, get re-inspired, commit to something new. Yet the sobering backdrop of what is unfolding here in America and around the world is frightening as I try to focus on my own life, the contributions I want to make and relationships I want to foster and grow.
So in the spirit of a new year coming in, I want to share with you something that happened the other day at my book group. There were eight of us women talking about the book we had all just read, a novel full of socially and politically relevant issues, compelling characters, and an odd twist for an ending. I myself couldn’t put the book down, so I was disappointed to find the ending contrived and unbelievable. But I waited for what felt like an appropriate moment to express my opinion in the group. Very quickly the woman facing me said, “I disagree with Phyllis. I liked the ending.” She was familiar with the setting of the story in a way that I wasn’t, and she offered interesting insights, background information, and a very different interpretation of the book’s conclusion. I wasn’t offended by her disagreeing with me. In fact, it was refreshing that she felt free to express a contrary point of view without a hint of aggression.
Some of the other women agreed with her and some felt as I did. It didn’t matter at all. No one was right, no one was wrong, and no one needed to be top dog in that conversation that was lively and thought provoking. We all saw the story through different eyes and we learned from each other.
The whole conversation was perhaps nothing extraordinary and yet it was. I feel elated every time I think about it. What happened spontaneously in our group was a perfect model of what I so wish to see happening in America and nations all over the world– openness to alternative points of view, respect for our differences, a total lack of defensiveness, and a willingness to learn from each other.
Some would say this kind of conversation can only occur in a place of privilege, only possible when you are safe in someone’s dining room with tea and cookies, where differing opinions will not affect a whole population’s food supply, have no bearing on how those in power wield power and whether their ideologies point toward imminent war or the building blocks of peace.
And while that may be true in the world we live in today, can we make the New Year a perfect time to powerfully envision the world we want to live in, in 2025? In our group, we all read the same book and had widely different reactions, and yet, in respectful discussion we created understanding and communion. We humans are all in the same group as world citizens living on this earth together. We are breathing the same air and depending on the same water and soil. Whether we can admit it or not, we desperately need each other to keep us safe and the planet habitable. The stakes are extremely high for whether or not we can create non-defensive, open-minded communication. They are in fact life and death for us all.
Even so, most of us operate in very small arenas. We’re not heads of state, CEOs or Supreme Court judges. So the question for me really is–what do I want to bring to the table with the people nearest and dearest to me, and what do I want to bring to the table with all those not so near and dear?
We are living in a world going mad with rage, greed, violence and hatred.
Too many of us are shouting but deaf at the same time. And many more of us actually want peace and brotherhood.
This is what I wrote about from so many angles in America in Therapy, and it is my greatest hope that we will get it in time that we have everything to gain from laying our defenses down and sitting at the table together now, with open hearts and minds– and that we have too much to lose if we don’t.
I’m not naive. I know what we hear in the news does not reflect this position at all, that it may sound impossible or that it is just too late, but that does not mean we shouldn’t continue to speak it and live it to the very best of our ability. It doesn’t mean that I won ‘t.
It is not from privilege that I say this. It is from continuing myself to climb– sometimes with what looks like little or no support or agreement– the daunting ladder of hard-earned, complicated, messy love.
Amen
*****
“On the path to peace, we will close the gap between Love and Politics”
*****
You can find me at www.phyllisleavitt.com
*****
Click here for my free PDF The 6 Secrets for Repairing Relationship After Conflict https://
Take the Conflict Type Quiz on my homepage at www.phyllisleavitt.com and find out your Conflict Type
*****
America in Therapy: ORDER NOW from all major booksellers, and please write a review!
0 Comments